Make a date!
This is the best page on the whole website (you’ve already been to the gallery, I know, and you think it’s the best, but you’re now on the page that brings us together and I can’t think of much that’s better than that.)
- Email me on firstname.lastname@example.org to introduce yourself. Tell me your name, and a few things about yourself (whatever you’re comfortable sharing!) so we can begin to get to know one another. I’ll reply as soon as I can.
- We’ll set a time and date. The suspense will be be unbearable, but we’ll get through it together, somehow.
- You’ve already read my whole website, so you won’t ask me anything that’s already on here. Magical.
- On the day of your appointment, you call me around 11am (or an hour before your appointment, whichever is earlier) to be wooed by my dulcet Irish tones and let me know that everything is still good on your end. If I don’t hear from you, I can’t wait around for long, I’m afraid, so do let me know if you think you’re going to be late confirming.
- I understand that life can get in the way of good times, so if you need to cancel, it’s not a problem, but I do appreciate as much notice as possible. In the case of a very late notice cancellation (i.e. with less than 24 hours to go until our meeting) a cancellation fee makes a very good and sincere apology, and ensures that I won’t hesitate to pencil you in for future meetings. Contact me for details of how to send your donation if we’re unable to meet.
I generally offer incalls in Central London. Outcalls to central London hotels are sometimes available with good notice, especially if you’re offering strawberries and champagne or other forms of shameless bribery.
- If you can’t get through by telephone, please send a text or an email of introduction and (if applicable) suggest a time when you’d like to see me. Don’t leave a voicemail, please, I definitely won’t get it.
- I do respond to texts provided they are polite and nt in txt spk.
- Email is the best way to make an initial enquiry.
- It’s best to send more than one line or a few words, and do include your name!
- I never answer unknown numbers. No, not even if you ring 26 times.
- Don’t call me in the middle of the night (or after 10pm, actually), you’ll only make me grumpy.
- IMPORTANT: I won’t discuss any information over the phone which is already available on my website — I’m terribly strict on this one! And not in a fun way.